Life Goals 101
Gone are the days of thinking that self-control is an innate trait. We know from thousands of published studies on behaviour that self-control is a learned trait, it can be cultivated over time, and there are certainly some people who have an easier time exhibiting self-control than others. If you want to have more self-control, instead of thinking about your behaviours and how those need to change, you should instead be looking toward your mindset.
Your mindset or outlook has a great deal to do with how much you feel you are in control of yourself and how much willpower you are willing to expend. We reveal the most critical aspects to the mindset that will help you cultivate and use your self-control.
Goal Orientation
When you have a goal-oriented mindset, your mantra is, “I am working towards this, and it is important to me.” Whether you are trying to develop healthier eating habits, put more money aside, or learn a new language, sticking to your plan and persevering, even when the going gets tough, takes self-control. When you focus on your goal, including why that goal is important to you, you are more likely to stay the course.
Your mindset, when focused on your goals and why you want to achieve them, can provide you with the motivation to overcome obstacles and stick with your plan of action. When you are trying to make progress toward something, it is helpful to periodically review how far you’ve come, which can also be motivating.
Positive Outlook
A positive outlook means you are telling yourself, “I can achieve this, and I am worthy of it.” This positive outlook will keep you going when you stumble, and provide you with the right energy when it’s starting to feel like maybe you can’t do it. Self-control can be hard without the right mindset about yourself, and a positive outlook has to include how you feel about yourself. Knowing that you deserve to succeed and are indeed worthy of the success you are trying to attain are crucial.
Inner Strength
Part of the right mindset for self-control is your inner strength. For this, you need to say to yourself, “This may be hard, but I am capable and will prevail.” This mindset is necessary for the critical part of self-control, which is delayed gratification. Your inner strength and your belief in that power are what will remind you that you are working hard toward something that may mean a little struggle or sacrifice now, while the future outcome will definitely be worth it.
Growth Mindset
Different from a fixed mindset, that says you’ve already learned what you need to know in life, a growth mindset tells you, “I have something to learn from this struggle, and it will serve me well in the future.” Continuous learning and placing value on this in your life is a mindset that will enhance your self-control as well as help you reach your goals. A growth mindset helps you see that you can actually learn a lot from failures and setbacks and, armed with this no information, your efforts moving forward will be even better. A growth mindset is crucial for cultivating your self-control.
Final Thoughts
When you learn to change your mindset, your behaviours will follow. Without the right mindset, you are much more likely to revert to old behaviours or give up trying, which reduces your self-control even further. By building better attitudes and ways of thinking about yourself and the world, you can develop the positive habits that will help you achieve whatever it is you want in life.
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